On the road again

I bought a new pair of running shoes today. There’s a specialty
running shop here in Charlottesville, Ragged Mountain, staffed by a
crew of young, fit people with disgustingly good abs. The guy in his
early 30’s that helped me find something for my freakishly misshapen
feet, kept ‘analyzing my stride’ and talking about ‘pronation’ and
‘support’ and ‘motion control’. It’s weird; I’ve heard all of those
words before, but in the running world, they all mean something really
different than they do in the rest of reality.

I tried on about 20 different pairs, and the guy kept trying to
tell me how each shoe would solve this problem or that; problems I
never even knew I had. I couldn’t even kept track of which shoe fixed
what problem. Or what the problems were. My only major concern, personally,
was that a big guy like me would get enough cushioning underfoot.[1]
Like, say, floor pillows. Or queen-size mattresses, maybe.

Clearly this guy was used to selling shoes to people who run
marathons every other weekend, who have very complex footwear needs.
My needs are much, much simpler. I need a pair of shoes I can walk in
for a few weeks, then jog in for a month or two, then set in my closet
for six months until the whole cycle starts all over. I didn’t have
the heart to tell him this. He seemed like he was having fun.

[1] Are you one of those fit, trim running-type people? Let’s
try a little thought experiment. Imagine yourself running. You’re
running along, making good time. Now imagine a clone of yourself,
sitting on your shoulders. Not running so fast now, are you? Now you
know why we big folks keeping talking about cushioning, okay?

Thank you

Well, it has been two months since I announced I
would write every day, and since that time, I posted a grand total of
three blog posts. (So I was little off.) Part of the problem is that I
am often moved to write about topics I decide are too personal to post
here. My name’s in big green letters at the top of this page, and I’m
paranoid about the consequences of what could happen if I were to post
the wrong piece of private information in this space. So I err on the
side of caution, probably too far. As a result, all that you get are
occasional posts about novelty carols in half-dead languages and
double entendres about jazz singers. (Please forgive me for the Norah
Jones thing, by the way.)

One of these personal stories is that my family conspired together
to give me a laptop, a Dell Inspiron, for Christmas. I’m writing this
post on it right now. I plan to finish my Ph.D. work this year, and as
you might guess, this requires a fair amount of writing: papers,
presentations, dissertations. I have a computer at home and use
another computer regularly in the lab, but they differ in operating
systems, software installed, and general capabilities. I no longer
have to worry about a lot of problems I would have had transferring
data and converting files, and now I can get out of the house and work
if I have to. (God bless Panera’s wireless access.) This was an
extraordinary gift, and I am honored by it.

To be honest, I feel truly blessed to have Mom, Dad, Ben, and Suz
in my life, computer or no computer. If it weren’t for their love and
support, I wouldn’t have made it here in grad school as far as I
have. More times than I can count, a call or two to Pennsylvania has
given me the strength I need to keep going. So if I haven’t made it
clear before, folks, thank you. I love you guys.

This is a travesty!

I’m listening to Norah Jones:

Like a flower waiting to bloom
Like a lightbulb in a dark room
I’m just sitting here waiting for you
To come home and turn me on

For the love of all that’s good in this world,
won’t somebody please turn her on?

(I’m willing to volunteer…)

Ave. Hic adsum ad tesseras pontificis maximi Colosseo Maximo tollendas.

As I lay in bed listening to the radio this morning, unsuccessfully willing myself to get up, the host of Morning Edition said they were about to play a traditional Christmas carol in Latin, performed by a choir in New York City. I, of course, expected “Ave Maria”, or perhaps a version of the Magnificat, only to realize after a second that the choir was singing, in six-part harmony, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”.

In Latin.

When I got an email account for the first time in college, back in the mid-nineties, one of the first mail forwards I got was entitled “Useful everyday Latin phrases”, which included, amongst others, the translation of the very useful phrase, “Hi. I’m here to pick up the Pope’s Superbowl tickets.” I thought I was going to have an aneurysm right there in the computer lab, I was laughing so hard.

An open letter to Virginia drivers

I love Virginia. Your state is beautiful, and you are friendly, welcoming people. I am proud to call the commonwealth my adopted home these past seven years. Yet there is one thing about this place I dread, and about this I must be direct. You, the drivers of Virginia, have no clue about how to drive on slippery winter roads.

Yesterday we had a full day’s worth of sleet and freezing rain. It bent trees, downed power lines, canceled schools– before a single drop of precipitation fell, somehow– and generally made everything miserable. So, when I awoke this morning, everything in sight was covered in slick sheets of ice. I am a native of a (slightly) colder climate, perhaps a little more accustomed to slippery roads than many of you, and while such conditions are annoying, I can handle them. Most of you, on the other hand, lose any remnants of common sense you might retain.

During my commute to work this morning, I saw nearly a dozen of you wildly stepping on your accelerators and spinning your wheels on the ice. My commute is less than ten minutes, so this is not an idle observation. Let’s be clear: if your wheels are not spinning at the same rate and in the same direction that your car is traveling, you are not in control of your car. The only things controlling your vehicle are the laws of gravity and friction, and I don’t think they care the slightest bit about your insurance deductible.

This is ice, people. You can’t just step on the gas as if it were the middle of July. God forbid, you might even have to shift into first gear and travel slowly (gasp!). And turn into the skid. And brake sooner. And not follow other drivers so closely… You know, have you thought about taking a sick day? The kids are out of school; maybe you can go build a snow fort in the back yard? How often do we get a chance to play in the snow in our busy lives? Come on, it’ll be fun. Just don’t go anywhere near your car, at least until I get to work.

Maybe it’d go faster with a bigger font

I write too little. A few days ago, I complained about and generally mocked National Novel Writing Month, but the truth is I wish I had the time to do it. I’m out of practice. I wrote more in college and the first few years of grad school, but now I mainly do research. The lack of practice is really starting to show. It takes me a long time to produce anything of length– often an hour or more a page. I can’t, and won’t, tolerate that pace if I’m going to get through the papers and dissertations stacked up here at the end of my grad school career.

I decided a few weeks ago that I would write every day. Not necessarily on my work, nor on this blog. Maybe just in a private journal, something every day to reacquaint me with the process, to give myself permission to just type without deleting and rewriting every sentence five times. Alas, at this I have utterly failed. I come home late in the evenings, and what little time I have left seems to get filled by running errands, packing lunches, paying bills, washing dishes… By 10 or 11, I’m so tired that spending an hour trying to hammer out a page hardly seems to be a good investment.

I recently reread my copy of Strunk and White’s “The Elements of Style”, which has helped. I generally think I write well, but a quick survey of a thin book points out many flaws in my prose style. Their admonition to “use definite, specific, concrete language” in particular cuts to my fundamental flaws like a scalpel. If I learn to write better, hopefully I’ll write faster too. Or maybe not. I don’t know. What I do know, though, is that I’ve written today, and that’s a start.

RSS 2.0, and then chainsaws for no apparent reason

I’ve updated the RSS syndication feed from 0.91 to 2.0, which should suck less. It’s got the same address (e.g. blog/index.rss), so you shouldn’t have to update anything. Lemme know if it doesn’t work.

Oh, and for the vast majority of you out there who don’t have the slightest clue what I’m talking about, don’t worry about it. It’s one of those geeky things that apparently only I and my brother-in-law worry about, and you can safely go about your business. Unless, of course, your business is juggling chainsaws or something, in which case you shouldn’t.

You know, we’re all really worried about you, and we’ve decided that it’s time for an intervention. Juggling chainsaws isn’t really a solution for your problems, is it? We all love you very much, and we’re here to help you. Just put the Stihl down, okay? Okay?

(So tired. So very tired.)

IHaStuFuAcrMo

So National Novel Writing Month (often irritatingly abbreviated as NaNoWriMo) has begun again another year. For those of you who are not regular residents of Geeky Internetland, National Novel Writing Month challenges those who have too much free time on their hands to write a 50,000 word novel (175 pages) entirely during the month of November. That works out to a little less than 2,000 words a day, which may not seem like a lot to most, but scares the living daylights out of me.

When it comes to writing, I belong to the “type-a-sentence-then-backspace- furiously-and-edit-seventeen-times” school of thought. (It’s not a very good school.) It takes me a long time to write 2,000 words. Hell, it took me over an hour do to this, and this is, what, like 400? The thought of writing that much every single day is positively breathtaking.

Of course, the fact that it’s so much writing jammed into so little time is largely the point. If you’re going to tackle a project of that size, you really need a “damn the torpedoes” attitude. Part of me really wants to do it, to learn how to write now and edit later, because right now the torpedoes won’t leave me alone. I’m going to be involved in “National Doctoral Dissertation Writing Month” in the not-too-distant future, which will require a similar number of words, in a similar span of time, without the option of locking the manuscript in the sock drawer never to be seen again.

But I really can’t right now. I’m writing some papers at work, and since I like sleeping, I just don’t have the time. (I suppose I could just count the words in the papers and say they’re part of a novel; think anybody’d be interested in a thrilling page turner about structural bioinformatics?) And it’s a shame, because if I don’t get a little more practice, I don’t think my poor Backspace key (or my sanity) is going to make it.

It don’t say nothin’ but it sure is pretty

Well, as you can clearly see, I’ve been entertaining myself in my free time by overhauling the look and feel of this blog and my page. All of the pages are generated automatically by a system of elaborate templates which I personally think is very interesting but I’m sure you won’t care about, so I won’t bother describing it.

What’s also interesting is that I spent all of the time I did making the the pages look pretty, not putting up any new content. You know, I hope that doesn’t say anything profound about me…

Giving Blosxom a whirl

I’m trying out a new blogging engine, called Blosxom. This is why the page is currently so ugly. The hassles of the old one were just too great to cope with any more– hard-to-edit templates and unstoppable comment spam– so I’m giving this a shot instead. Don’t worry, I’ll make it all prettified real soon now.

Blosxom, alas, doesn’t handle comments (very well), so you’re not going to be able to comment (at least for a while). Seeing as how most of those who do comment predominately talk about poker and erectile dysfunction drugs, I don’t see that as much of a loss.

Update: I’ve got the new templates working now. Neat, no? I still need to put links to older entries on the left side of the page, but I’ll fix that eventually.